The Loneliness Epidemic Might Be Partly Our Own Doing.

Rosheen Ansari

Aug 21

3 min read

Why is forming and maintaining friendships so much harder in 2026? – A question that’s been looming over us since the rise of the digital age, reaching its peak after COVID. We’re more connected than ever, but many people have never felt so lonely.

As human beings, we crave closeness: a sense of community, people we can rely on and fall back on. There was a time when generations before us knew their neighbours. When they could simply ‘drop by’ and check on a friend if they were ever in the neighbourhood. It seems like this kind of community has been lost among the newer generations.

These days, even the idea of calling a friend at random, let alone showing up at their home unannounced to check on them, feels daunting. It seems like many of us are afraid of the awkwardness and the simple idea of being rejected. If a phone call is missed. Rejection. If they don’t answer that door. Rejection. But why does that feel so uncomfortable?

Social media popularises perfectly aesthetic friendships through Instagram photo dumps, captions, and even Pinterest boards encouraging us to 'manifest the perfect friendship group'. If people still crave community so deeply, why are we failing in that regard?

Maybe the answer lies in just that: the aesthetics.

Since the rise of social media, it seems as though we need to make our lives appear picture-perfect. These days, we can have more followers than ever, yet only count on one hand how many friends we could truly call in a crisis. While trying to curate the ‘picture-perfect’ lifestyle, our connections are starting to fall flat. Social media encourages us to look socially fulfilled rather than actually feel connected.

It could even be argued that deep and meaningful friendships are formed when you persevere through difficult times together, not through an afternoon spent taking candids of each other for the perfect photo dump.

Nowadays, it's harder to have those open conversations with your community when you're struggling in any aspect of life. There's a fear of appearing imperfect. A fear of appearing 'too much'. A fear of being screenshotted. A fear of being ghosted. A fear of being vulnerable.

The constant surveillance and instant connectivity are emotionally exhausting.

Being detached and cool has been placed at the forefront of social media. Everything has to appear effortless, with vulnerability and authenticity absent.

Trends created by social media, along with certain buzzwords, are encouraging unhealthy behaviour patterns among younger generations. Ghosting. Being 'nonchalant'. Using therapy language outside of actual therapy sessions with qualified professionals. These behaviours are creating a divide in our relationships in real time. Pretending to be nonchalant to appear indifferent about your feelings doesn't help us discuss the bigger issues at hand.

Social media is quite literally telling us how to feel and act. Our emotions are beginning to feel artificial and manufactured.

The newly popularised idea that ‘you don’t owe anyone anything’ has taught us to create boundaries that no one can surpass, not even our close friends and family. The idea of cutting people off when someone has done something you disagree with, offering no conversation, has affected our ability to resolve conflict.

But the truth is: we DO owe each other human decency. We owe each other kindness. We owe each other explanations for hurtful behaviour. We owe each other our time and effort if we want to maintain our friendships.

In an anxiety-riddled generation where the future feels more uncertain than ever, putting your emotional needs out there seems daunting. Showing up for friends and family feels like a huge emotional task.

So what is the solution to all of this?

Show up. Call. Text. Reply. Respond. Show up physically, even if you don’t want to. We owe our connections that much. And inevitably, when there are misunderstandings and fallouts, have those awkward conversations! Let people see your flaws. Stay through the tough times. It requires vulnerability, and it only strengthens our relationships with one another.

We’ve become very good at protecting ourselves from rejection, discomfort, and disappointment, but in doing so we've shielded ourselves from the intimacy we're longing for. Community can’t be built by avoiding vulnerability. We all have to be willing to take the first step.

To paraphrase the old saying: If you want a village, you also have to be a villager.