If Men Can Date Younger, Women Can Too. Get Over It.

Polina Moiseeva

1 day ago

3 min read

No matter where we grew up, we all carry echoes of patriarchal values. Since childhood, we've been taught that a man is the protector of the family, while a woman is supposed to be wise and take care of her hair, nails, and skin with the same level of attention stockbrokers use to analyse the market.

And that would be fine, because in 2026 we're already grown adults, fully formed people who supposedly live by different rules. Men cry now, and women make money and build careers. We try not to judge anyone, to be tolerant, to accept people for who they are.

But for some reason, when it comes to choosing a partner, and relationships in general, we still feel this tiny bit of internal discomfort whenever we see couples with an age gap. Especially when the woman is older.

I used to be one of those people too. Until I accidentally fell in love with an undergraduate student who had just turned twenty.

And if you don't think too much about the fact that during COVID my boyfriend was in middle school, then I can confidently say this: this is the easiest, calmest, and kindest relationship I've ever had in my life.

Thanks to the flawless work of algorithms and native advertising, every single one of my Reels now keeps telling me the same thing: why should you date younger guys?

After four months with a boyfriend who's six years younger than me, and after spending dozens of hours on the internet, I think I can finally answer that question.

First of all, the younger men I've met have completely different energy. They prioritise movement, curiosity, restlessness. They're more willing to try new things, more likely to say "yes" to spontaneous ideas, and they're not nearly as afraid of taking risks.

It seemed to me that they simply haven't had enough time yet to become rigid in their ideas of what a relationship is supposed to look like. They listen more easily, they change more easily, and they're much more comfortable admitting they don't know something.

I remember our first time having sex, it was a complete disaster, two conversations, a few honest explanations, and before long I could barely remember anyone who fucked better than he did.

And in general, it felt like they don't carry all those fixed ideas about what a woman is supposed to be or what exactly she owes a man. These relationships somehow come with less of the patriarchal script. An older man often arrives with a role already written for him. He knows better. He has more money, more experience, more status. And the power dynamic is constructed almost automatically.

When a guy doesn't have financial superiority over you, your relationship somehow steps outside the usual system of social roles.

And then you start loving each other not because one person is supposed to provide and the other is supposed to inspire. Not because someone is stronger or more experienced. But simply because you genuinely like the person sitting across the table from you.

For me, dating a twenty-year-old also helped pull me out of a workaholic mindset that had been my only source of pride for a very long time.

Before I met him, I was almost always competing with the men I dated. I constantly wanted to prove that I was strong, independent, capable of supporting myself, protecting myself, and building my own career. But now, with a young guy who's just beginning his professional journey, I've become surprisingly indifferent to that endless race and the constant need to prove something to someone. I don't need to beat the person I love anymore.

I feel like many of these "new men" are far more emotionally available than the men I used to date. They're more comfortable talking about their feelings; they're not afraid of being vulnerable, and they play the whole hot-and-cold game much less often.

Have I been judged and laughed at for dating a younger guy? Of course. And I most likely will be again.

But love knows no boundaries. And if DiCaprio can date girls under twenty-five, why exactly am I not allowed to do the same?