Disciplined People Are Boring. Pretty People Have More Fun.

Camille Stockwell
17 hours ago
3 min read

I’m only friends with pretty people, and yes, prettiest is subjective. I say that knowing it’s a take I don’t fully believe, but I want to sit with it for a second because there’s something true buried underneath.

I am disciplined myself. And when I fall, I fall hard, because discipline carries an anxiety most disciplined people aren’t even aware of. They just feel it. I remember stepping outside my own body and watching that old version of me wanting to be so rigid: rigid with my diet, my workouts, what I wore, who I talked to, what I did every weekend. It wasn’t fun. And I didn’t feel pretty.

It didn’t even matter how I looked. I felt like an ugly little troll, hyper-fixated on everyone else, hyper-fixated on my own discipline, not living spontaneously at all. I didn’t have that internal glō. The glō everyone wants has nothing to do with clothes or a finished look, and everything to do with being calm.

That’s the thing about people who actually glō: it’s not the ones who’ve had a lot of work done, their hair straightened and bleached, who look “pretty” on paper. Prettiest is still subjective. It’s the ones who move through the world with a different kind of energy. An aura. Something that radiates from internal to external until you can’t deny it’s beautiful. Cute, pretty, hot, beautiful, sexy. Those are all different things.

As humans, we gravitate towards pretty things: attractive people, shiny objects, and lush environments. But one day, that pearly new necklace will inevitably get a bit dull, those bright bouquets will wilt, and even the most attractive people will start to show imperfections deemed ugly. And while the initial lust for each pretty thing might fade, that does not necessarily mean its beauty goes with it.

People who actually hold your attention have something else going on underneath.

None of this is to say disciplined people are boring or ugly. Again, I’m disciplined myself. What I’m saying is that the rigid ones miss the glō: that brightness, that love for the world, in their eyes. Too much discipline edits out the spontaneous, slightly inconvenient moments that end up becoming some of the best memories. We’re here to experience life, not perform it. I’m not trying to live like The Truman Show (never seen it, never will).

While I think it is important to have discipline, I don’t think rigidity is a sustainable way of living. Discipline is goal-oriented, rooted in the repression of anything that conflicts with the goal. Discipline is a fad diet. It might be a useful tool at first, but it’s certainly not a sustainable way to live.

Another, more fruitful D-word (no, not that one) that can be carried throughout life is devotion. Devotion is based on values, which requires intentional action that harmoniously steers our mind-body-soul connection towards the path we most desire.

I’m still disciplined, just not in a way that interferes with me experiencing life.

I try to stick to the plan, not the mood. I don’t always win that one. I pray every morning, badly, but I do it. I journal before I do anything else. I walk every morning, even when I don’t want to, even though it’s the same loop, because it sets the rest of the day up. I used to work out in 30-to-60-minute, all-out sessions chasing a burn, followed by a run, and was left inflamed, with no energy and definitely no glō.

Now my movement is softer. The seasons still change, but there’s something about connecting back to nature whenever you can. And in New England, when it’s nice out, everything just slows down.

Regulating your nervous system means that when a spontaneous road trip becomes next weekend’s getaway, a key that had to fall slips through a drainage grate, or you just genuinely cannot be bothered to pick up a book because Love Islandis on, you don’t beat yourself up about “getting off track” or the things you can’t always control. Being that attuned to who you actually are might be the most attractive thing a person can do.