I Can’t Make a Decision to Save My Fucking Life

I'm in this season of learning about myself, my codependency, who I am as a person, and one of the biggest things I keep coming back to, especially with the world we live in today, is decision fatigue.

We all know that specific kind of irritation: scrolling through Netflix, then Hulu, then whatever the other gajillion streaming platforms are, just trying to find one show to enjoy. And on the rare occasion something has been selected, most of us are then gazing at our phones, computers or maybe both (which, same).

What's the point, though? You're not present for any of them. Then five hours pass and you're like, what the fuck just happened?

But decision fatigue goes way beyond what to watch. It bleeds into what you wear, who you date, every little choice, and it comes with this constant undertow of maybe there's a better option.

That "better option" thinking is so insidious because you never give anything, or anyone, your full energy and presence. You're already mentally somewhere else, calculating the next decision, the next what if, something that hasn't even happened yet.

A friend of mine has this analogy I love: think of time like wind.

The past is the wind that has already gone by. It can't touch you.

The future is wind that hasn't come yet, so stop bracing for it.

All you can deal with is what's right in front of you.

And what's right in front of you always has a solution.

That's basically Buddhism too: if there's a solution, there's no point in worrying. But here's what I think people miss about decision fatigue. It's not just surface-level exhaustion from too many choices. Over time, it actually erodes your sense of self. You lose track of what matters to you, what you actually want, who you are as an individual.

You get so hyper-focused on making the right decision, but that "right" decision is almost never truly yours. It's the "should" decision. What you think you're supposed to do.

And that's the real damage. Which brings me to Iris Law, because I saw a video about her style and I can't stop thinking about it in this context. She'll wear ballet flats with loafers as a bag. Sweatpants with jellies and a blouse. Sports shorts with lace underneath, colours that shouldn't work together, fabrics that have no business being in the same outfit, and it always works.

Not because the outfit is objectively perfect, but because she genuinely loves each individual piece and wants to wear them together. Her energy comes through completely.

And I know some people are "anti-woo energy", and that's fine, do whatever, but you cannot deny that it works. Because if someone else wore that exact outfit without that same love and intention behind each piece, it wouldn't land the same way. People gravitate towards energy. We are energy, literally.

The reason Iris Law works as an example here is that she doesn't seem to have decision fatigue, at least not the paralysed kind. She just wants to wear something, so she wears it. No second-guessing, no "does this go together?", no waiting for permission.

It's completely authentic, completely personal, and it shows. That's what decision fatigue robs from you. That instinct. That confidence in your own taste. And I think more people need to start trusting theirs.

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Photo ©  Loli Bahia Photographed by Théo de Gueltzl for a Love Magazine