Your Life Could’ve Been Worse. Did You Ever Think of That?

All our lives, we are taught to think about accomplishment lists: what we achieved, what we built, what we succeeded at. The list grows year after year, stretching further into the future, until it almost feels as though we are meant to keep building it even on our deathbeds, as if we should somehow accomplish a peaceful death as well.

But how can something feel peaceful or meaningful when life always feels like it’s running? When it’s constantly moving toward the next task, the next milestone, the next expectation? How can we feel proud of what we’ve accomplished if we rarely give ourselves the time to sit with it and feel it in our bones? Every year, we are told to make lists of what we achieved: promotions, degrees, milestones, relationships, progress. But there is another list we rarely write: the quiet list of things that didn’t happen.

I call it the “It Could’ve Been Worse” list.

This list is not about pessimism. It’s about recognising the moments when our lives could have taken a darker direction, and the small decisions that changed our course.

For instance: How relieved are you that you left your hometown? Or are you so caught up in the challenges of your new life that you forgot the courage it took to leave? It could’ve been worse. You could have stayed.

How grateful are you that you left that person behind? Or have you already moved on so quickly that you forget how close you were to staying? It could’ve been worse. You could have stayed with them.

How thankful are you for the peace in your marriage? Or are you so busy raising children that you forget how different things could have been, how easily you could have repeated the same patterns you grew up around? It could’ve been worse.

How freeing is it that you are not married yet? Escaping the checklist society writes for us and living life on your own timeline. How relieving is it that you left the job that never felt like you? It could’ve been worse.You could have ignored the warning signs.

Growth is not always about what we accomplish. Sometimes, it’s about:

What we avoided, what we refused to become or what patterns we ended. Maybe our lives should not only be measured by what we built, but also by what we refused to carry forward.

We all have our own version of the “It Could’ve Been Worse” list. And if you didn’t have one before, perhaps you do now. Because it could’ve been worse. You could have never thought to write it.