Breaking News: Where Have All The Good Guys Gone?

It started, as most modern existential crises do, with an Instagram Reel. Specifically, a video by Stanzi Potenza titled “Where have all the good girls gone?”, a humorous (and slightly too accurate) take on modern dating that left the internet collectively nodding, laughing, and maybe rethinking a few life choices. Naturally, it raised an equally pressing question. A question whispered over brunch mimosas, dramatically sighed into group chats, and occasionally shouted at the ceiling after yet another “hey, u up?” text at 2:13 a.m.

Where. Have. All. The. Good. Guys. Gone?

Because according to modern legend, they used to exist. Supposedly, there was once a time when men planned actual dates, replied with full sentences, and didn’t treat emotional availability like it was a premium subscription service. Historians are still investigating.

The Myth of the “Good Guy”

We’ve all heard about him. He communicates clearly. He texts back in under 48 business hours.He doesn’t think “ghosting” is a legitimate conflict resolution strategy. He owns more than one pillow.

But sightings are rare. Some say he’s been spotted at farmer’s markets or reading actual books in cafés, but those could just be rumors started by overly optimistic friends.

The Modern Dating Safari

Trying to find a good guy today feels less like dating and more like a wildlife documentary.

“Here we see the elusive Good Guy in his natural habitat… oh wait, no, that’s just a man who said ‘wyd’ three times and disappeared.”

You swipe through profiles like you’re flipping through a catalog of mildly confusing personalities:

• “Fluent in sarcasm” (translation: emotionally unavailable)

• “Just seeing what’s out there” (translation: absolutely nothing serious)

• “I don’t use this app much” (translation: he absolutely does)

And then there’s the classic:“Looking for something real”, posted by someone who will vanish the moment things become, you know… real.

The Disappearing Act

Ah yes, ghosting, the national pastime. One minute, you’re exchanging playlists and discussing your childhood dreams. The next? Silence. Did he fall into a wormhole? Get recruited into a secret mission? Accidentally join a monastery? Nope. He just… stopped replying.

It’s impressive, really. Houdini would be proud.

Emotional Availability: Out of Stock

Somewhere along the line, emotional availability became harder to find than a matching sock in the laundry. You meet a guy who seems great; funny, charming, remembers your coffee order. 

Hope begins to bloom. Then comes the plot twist:

“I’m not ready for anything serious right now.” 

Sir, you are 34.

What exactly are you preparing for? The Olympics?

The Group Chat Investigators

No modern dating experience is complete without the group chat. You send screenshots. They analyse like FBI agents.

• “He used ‘haha’ instead of ‘hahaha.’ That’s suspicious.”

• “He took 6 hours to reply. He’s either busy… or emotionally unavailable.”

• “Wait, go back, why did he like your message instead of responding??”

At this point, the group chat knows more about him than he knows about himself.

So… Where Are They?

Maybe the good guys aren’t gone. Maybe they’re:

• Overthinking their text replies for three hours

• Trying to figure out if “hey :)” is too much or not enough

• Recovering from their own questionable dating experiences

• Or hiding… because they’re just as confused as everyone else

  
  

Plot twist: the “good guys” might be asking the same question.

Final Thoughts (An Ongoing Investigation Into a Possible Extinction)

Dating today is weird. Everyone’s tired. Everyone’s cautious. And everyone’s pretending they’re chill when they are, in fact, not chill at all. And as for the good guys? At this point, we can neither confirm nor deny their existence.

There have been alleged sightings; a timely reply here, a well-planned date there, but nothing substantial enough to confirm a stable population. Experts (the group chat) remain divided.

Some believe they’re still out there, just in hiding. Others argue they’ve quietly gone extinct, replaced by a new species that communicates exclusively in memes and “haha.” 

For now, the case remains open. We will continue to investigate, document, and report any credible encounters. Until then stay strong, stay hydrated, and if you do spot a good guy in the wild…please alert the authorities immediately.

Photos Courtesy of @pinterest